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Murphy's Real Estate Laws

Updated: May 21, 2020

· That sweet young lady that you rented to will start dating the crazed loud-vehicle-loving guy from hell... and several of his friends... the very next week.

· Tenants have at least one relative get sick or die per month, so... they will just have to pay you later.

· If a tenant attempts to replace the washer in a faucet, plan on replacing the faucet…. And perhaps all the plumbing in the building.

· Prospective tenants who make an appointment to see your rental across town often get kidnapped on the way there, so there was just no way they could call you.

· Tenants only lock themselves out in the middle of the night... or on Christmas.

· When a furnace breaks in mid-winter, it is always the heat exchanger.

· At least one tenant's cheque will be "lost in the mail" every month.

· Every lost pet will find its way to your rental.

· The hardware store closes five minutes before you get there.

· A tenant's ability to see dirt and damage is much greater during the move in than when they move out.

· Your best tenants always get job transfers during the worst rental markets.

· Everything in your rentals will break 100 times faster than in your own home.

· The insurance inspector always shows up to take photos of the building as you are putting the evicted tenant’s possessions on the curb.

· Tenants always swear under oath that the window was broken when they moved in.

· When a tenant calls and says, "Hi, how are you?", something is drastically wrong.

· If it exists, your tenant will try to flush it down the toilet.

· If you have any questions about anything, ask your tenants.

· If it is pouring rain, you can be sure the windows are open at one or more at your units.

· Proper disposal of chewing gum is in the carpet.


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