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What Your Car Says About You

Updated: May 21, 2020

Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 11 of the 13 provinces Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating up people Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education

Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car Ford Escort - I'm a red-headed nanny Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart) Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph & change lanes when I pull up behind them Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the Fall. Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the Fall. Honda del Sol - I have always said, ‘half a convertible is better than no convertible at all’ Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming. Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending. Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year. Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph. Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole. Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an 18 - wheeler MGB - I am dating a mechanic Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings. Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic) Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife



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