Dear Lifelines,
This Valentine’s Day I don’t have anyone special in my life and I’m feeling sad about that. This is going to be a terrible year unless I figure something out. Please help!
- Waiting for Cupid
Dear Waiting for Cupid,
Sometimes it helps to look outside of your situation to put things into perspective. On Valentine’s Day, not everyone has a partner and certainly even those that do are not all in ideal relationships. Maybe you can consider yourself lucky to be able to broaden your search and meet others who you might be equally or even more compatible with than those in your past. Perhaps you can envision yourself moving along an arrowed timeline towards a fulfilling relationship, instead of focusing on those relationships that are now a part of history. Sometimes it’s worth getting a realistic perspective from others on past relationships. Ask a friend what they thought about you and your ex’s relationship – it might offer you a different perspective and some other things to consider. It is easy to romanticize your feelings about someone in your past and build him or her up to be someone that no one can compare to – someone who realistically never existed. Perfection in a mate should not necessarily be the goal, but odds are good that there is someone out there that you might be fairly compatible with since there are over 35 million people in Canada alone. If you are willing to travel outside Canada, the odds increase considerably with over 7 billion people worldwide to sort through for a compatible partner. Even after you sort through the population to your ideal partner’s gender and age, that should still leave you with a couple billion to choose from.
However sad you might be as you reflect on your situation, just remember that oftentimes we grieve past relationships for what we had hoped they would become, not what they necessarily were. So instead of grieving or feeling sorry about your situation, you can take action and head out and spend time with others that could use your support. There are many lonely people who cannot get out, who live in confined settings, who have been alone for decades and who would appreciate seeing you coming in with a rose or two to share your Valentine’s spirit. Why not consider spending your time and caring nature with others who could also really use some companionship and love? It just might be your best Valentine’s Day yet. Best of luck.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Lifelines