This monthly column by Jody Brown, is designed to help you make better connections and live happier lives. Sometimes we just need to ask the question. Joanne (Jody) Brown is an NLP Master Practitioner and advanced Master Hypnotherapist with a Diploma in corrections. You can learn more about NLP and hypnosis techniques on her website at www.authenticbeing.ca or contact her at Authentic Being Consulting #403-983-2230 in Strathmore.
Someone told me I have bad energy and that I need to change it before I lose all of my friends! What does this mean? Why do I need to change?
Sincerely, Bad Vibes
Dear Bad Vibes:
Most of us intuitively get a feeling about people that we encounter. We make judgements about people based on these gut or sensory-based feelings. For instance, a while back I was in the grocery store and the clerk was tossing my purchases down the conveyor belt. It felt to me that she didn’t really care about me or my purchases - at least that was my judgement based on her behaviour, body language and the way she spoke to me. Because of her edginess and where she was coming from emotionally, the experience didn’t make me feel good about my interaction with her. Some people would say that she was exuding negative energy. However, the response I choose to have is entirely up to me. I can let her negativity impact me, or I can choose to respond in a more positive way. I usually attempt to use humour and patience and maybe even offer a compliment when I encounter people like this and typically it works to lighten up the situation a bit. It’s not fair to expect everyone we encounter to be in a fantastic mood handing out smiles and lollipops. Everyone has their own personal and societal challenges to deal with that will impact the way they respond to different circumstances in life. If I respond with impatience and a further negative attitude, it’s doubtful that either of us will come out of the interaction feeling good about things.
Although that example is pretty obvious, there are other people you meet who just don’t ‘feel right’ or don’t feel safe and our bodies react to those feelings in various ways like a shiver, discomfort, wanting to get away from them or downright repulsion. Perhaps we can’t even put a finger on exactly what we are responding to. In essence, we send, receive and respond to this ‘energy’ from each other on a continual basis.
So you might want to dig a little deeper and inquire about how exactly your friend interprets your behaviour and labels you as having bad energy. Is she talking about bad luck, bad attitude or some other kind of negativity that you are wrapped up in currently? Once you discover what she is referring to, you can start to play around with your energy and attitude and see where that takes you. Why not read up on the power of body language, treat people with respect and try to find the positive in the world around you? Although your true friends will stick around you during your highs and lows and you certainly don’t have to change anything about yourself, it has been said that maintaining an optimistic attitude and being resilient greatly improves your quality of life and of those around you. If any type of change feels right, even subtle changes might put a more positive spin on your encounters with other people.
Best of luck!
“Thoughts themselves are an energy, and it’s vital to realize that you need to work on not holding on to the ones that will weaken you.” Dr. Wayne Dyer from his book Your Ultimate Calling.