Please do not throw your cigarettes in our garden. The cat smokes them and he's trying to quit.
Hey, did you guys move? Your Wi-Fi isn’t working anymore.
We hope your exorcism was successful last night. We do ask, as a courtesy to us and the other neighbours on this floor, that you limit expelling demons to Friday and Saturday nights. Thanks in advance
You car's sound system is amazing. It is so loud and the bass is so rockin' that it actually shakes all the apartment buildings in the complex. Awesome! This is exceptionally rad when you pull up at 3:30 in the morning and wake up the entire community. Wicked awesome!
We are all very impressed with your lack of muffler. Don't even think about not revving your engine when you pull up to the buildings you share with hundreds of other people.
~ Your Envious Neighbours
For the love of all that is holy, if you play the soundtrack to Hairspray that loud one more time, I am going to lose it! Not everyone on the block likes show tunes or musicals, and now I get the feeling you are ONLY doing it to annoy me. Seriously STOP!
~ Neighbour going crazy!
I apologize for any loud "commotion" occurring tonight and every night for the next 3-4 weeks. I also apologize for my wide vocab of "slurs" and profanities. You see, I recently acquired Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. No need to call the cops again.
~ Sincerely, your next-door neighbour
I noticed you guys keep forgetting to pick up your dog’s poopies so I took it upon myself to bring by some baggies. I assume you’re all out because why else wouldn’t you want to clean up after your dogs? Oh! I also helped out by dropping all said poop conveniently in front of your door, for easier clean up! You're welcome!