Test Results

A suspected COVID-19 male patient is lying in bed at the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young female student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. “Nurse,” he mumbles from behind the mask, “Are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, sir. I’m only hear to wash your upper body and feet.” He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?” Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, the nurse overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, sir. They look fine.” The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: are… my… test… results… back?”

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